Memory Log Start
Been writing alot of random stuff which i felt...
sometimes i have a feeling where i should be left alone or stay away from people...why?
Many month ago, i found out one thing of myself which i never notice which is i am quite a possessive person. I never notice i have this in me or should i said i never had that feeling before.
Until now this feeling sometimes do still happen....maybe I am just too comfortable for what i have....
As far as i remember, i never do “doubted” or "suspect" a person before or the choice i made...which is after that happen....i start to know what is "doubted" and "suspect"....never like that feeling...need too much of thinking to do...affect my whole day feelings...cause me to feel uneasy....really hate that feeling...really...
Nowadays i am doing my best to throw this feeling back...way back in my head...hope that one day i will forget that feeling....thought it might work....trying push everything which will stir up this uneasy feeling way back in my head....avoiding as much as possible....but even though i like it or not...subconsciously my head will just think about it....really is that weird...really hate it....
This time what make it worst is......i duno who i can find and talk with.....really want to find a person to talk with....i just want to find a person to hear me out.....but i know everyone have their own problems to face too...but sometimes u just feel like finding a person just to hear u out, just to leave that weight away from your chest...just to take down that smiley mask which u have been wearing all the time....just to be out of stage...be the real YOU which is under the mask for this long time acting happily like every thing is fine and ok...just to take a brief rest from all that performance you have show to the world...
I know what am i asking is quite a lot...since everyone have their own problem to face right?...and what make me so special which i can have this privilege right?...i mean there are people facing a hell lot of a bigger problem and might not find a person who hear them out....maybe is a burden i need to bare, an obstacle i need to face alone....
Maybe is a challenge which is given by life...which needed me to face it alone...so that when i have solved it...i will be stronger......right??
Memory Log End
